Overall, it is good, and works properly.1. The opening paragraph is not really an opening — it is very specific and doesn’t really say what the general topic or idea is that you will discuss.2. In the citations, be sure the titles of articles are capitalized the same way they are in the original articles.3. Mainly, there are issues with clear writing, from word usage and other typical ESL issues. For example:’…science to be uneven to the real temperament of life.’ This doesn’t actually mean anything in English and I’m not sure what it is you are trying to say. This type of problem is common and easy to fix and improve on, both by reading and also by using the writing center. I strongly urge you to take your draft, when it’s done, to the writing center and have them go over it with you for clear English usage.
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